The breakthrough blog with brittany policastro

Lets Get Through This Together

Featured In:

huffmobile origin.png mantra3.jpg elephant-journal-logo-image-logo

Featured In:

thehuff.jpgmantra3.jpgelephant-journal-logo.giforigin.png

Check Out More …

Getting Clear on the “Uniqueness” of What I Do

Read More

Why Breakthroughs?

Read More

Who am I if I’m not a Yoga Teacher?

Read More

My Hair. My Sexy. Me.

Read More

The Truth is I’m Playing Small

Read More

I Am a Wild Butterfly

Read More

My First Facebook “Unfriending”

Read More

Healing Rejection from 15 Years of Living with an STD

Read More

The Day I Failed at Not Wearing Makeup

Read More

Am I a Grown Up?

Read More

What Black Lives Matter Means to Me

Read More

The Day I Went Braless

Read More

Beauty is Everywhere

Read More

First We Grieve. Then We RISE.

Read More

We Can’t Pull Change Out of People

Read More

Thoughts About Revealing My Truth

Read More

I Love My Thighs

Read More

Men cry. care. read. love…

Read More

The Time I Cloud-Pushed a Hurricane

Read More

I Got Engaged. Donald Trump Got Elected.

Read More

My Break Up with Alcohol 7 Years Ago…

Read More

Why the Spiritual Mantra “We are All the Same” is Misleading

Read More

If I’m Being Honest, I Can’t Tell You the Whole Story…

Read More

What My Attraction to Another Man Taught Me about Relationships

Read More

I was Really Sad. And Really Grateful.

Read More

Reclaiming My Pussy

Read More

We Can’t Pull Change Out of People 

 

I have this friend. Let’s call him Toby. His name isn’t actually Toby. In fact, now that I think of it, I’ve never known a Toby in my life.

Anyways, I have a special connection with my friend Toby. It’s very magical and connected in ways that he admits to consciously not even fully understanding. Shit’s that deep. But I do.

And I can see right into Toby quite easily. I can see his blocks and his fears and his grief. But most importantly, I can see his crazy magical potential.

And yes, I can see this in most of the people I work with and in many of my long time yoga students. And I can usually turn it on and off.

But with Toby it’s more palpable. I can’t help but see it, feel it and experience it. So I also can’t ignore it.

And I could spend time on trying to figure out why I have this sort of connection with this particular friend but in the end it really doesn’t matter. It just is.

The problem is the healer in me goes crazy. She wants to give him all the tools she knows would totally change his life.

She wants to point out those moments when she notices shifts or openings or closings.

She wants to guide him into a healthier way of living and simply being.

And all this is code for saying: I want to change my friend Toby.

I mean it seems so simple from my angle. It’s all right on the surface. Like I said, palpable. It would take no time at all. At least that’s what the little voice in my head has told me.

And the other day I could feel myself trying to pull it out of him. Change. Transformation. Understanding. His potential.

But then I took a step back and realized what I was doing. It was a nasty little habit I thought I broke years ago.

In fact when I started dating Nick I promised myself I was not going to try to change him. I was going to let him be who he is. And I knew that his shine would expand naturally.

And that’s exactly what happened.

But with my friend Toby it feels a little more challenging, which makes me ask myself…

What is it about his transformation that I am so attached to?

What pieces of him do I see in myself?

What would it take to simply accept him for who he is in this moment?

Because here’s the thing, we can’t change anyone. It never works.

We can only hold space for those we care for to be in their own journey. Even if that journey is messy. Even if we can see ways to pull them out of that mess.

It’s not our responsibility to do that. Our responsibility is to love them. To hold them in the light. To realize that we are all different and we all have our own way of getting to the other side of this life.

But also, change is inevitable. We all change. We are constantly evolving. We just can’t put a time line on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pin It on Pinterest