TheDay I Failed at Not Wearing Makeup
Last month Nick and I were in his car (Harold, that’s the car’s name) heading to Asbury Park. Whenever we can we use our free Sundays to find solace in the smooth waves and sandy ground.
Then we will get changed and all gussied up and go out to dinner where we will share a salad and pizza, drink a beer and just chill. Then we hit up the best ice cream shop in all the land and head home. This had become one of my favorite of our rituals.
But on this particular Sunday about half way into our 90-minute journey, I realized I forgot my makeup bag. And what followed surprised the crap out of me.
I started to cry.
Not full out bawling but there were tears. I was truly upset. I wasn’t expecting this reaction from myself. Because I don’t always wear makeup. I wasn’t wearing makeup at that moment.
In fact, more and more during the week, I find myself wearing nothing more than the coconut oil I smear on my face as a moisturizer. I mostly just teach yoga and while I used to wear makeup while I taught I’m doing it less.
So why the tears??
While I go fresh faced during the week for teaching yoga or heading to the beach for the day, I have never forgone makeup when going out at night. Never.
Whether it’s a date with my love, a dinner with friends or a night of dancing, makeup is always on my face.
I like the way it enhances my features, makes my eyes pop, shows off my cheek bones and just brightens me up. I feel polished, sexy. And this is totally ok with me, until that is, I was crying on the way to the shore because my lashes would be naked.
There was this interesting attachment that was rearing it’s ugly head.
And I’d love to say that I courageously sucked it up, wore no makeup and realized I didn’t need it in the first place and am now makeup free forever!
That didn’t happen.
Instead, I had Nick stop at this beauty store on some random road where I purchased mascara for two bucks and eye liner for a dollar knowing full well that it wasn’t in alignment with the kind of makeup I usually buy.
I gave in to my ego. Yup, it happens from time to time.
And while I didn’t have my full face of makeup on (which is pretty light to begin with) I did feel the need to make sure my eyes were decorated.
And yes, I called this a fail in the title but really it just is what it is. The breakthrough in this story is the awareness I now have.
Sometimes we need to ease into the things that make us uncomfortable. We can’t just throw ourselves into the deep end of the pool knowing full well we can’t swim. That’s just mean.
And while I am inspired by Alicia Key’s makeup-free movement and recognize how much courage it takes to do that, this may or may not be fore me. And as long as I own it, right now that’s enough for me.