If I’m Being Honest, I Can’t Tell You the Whole Story…
I know you guys see me on social media and in classes and I am happy and life is peachy. And for the most part it is. Life is amazing.
But at the same time in the past two months I have been cracked wide open by certain life experiences that six months ago (hell, three months ago) I didn’t even think were possible.
And as a result I’ve been distracted, I’ve been blissed-out, I’ve been less motivated to get my work done and I haven’t slept through the night. And I used to be a champion sleeper.
And while I totally use this blog to process and share all of the messy beautiful wisdom that comes with being alive, this time I can’t.
That’s right. I can’t actually spill the full truth of what I have been going through for the past few months.
Why you ask? Well right now it feels like a sacred, delicate matter that I’m not quite ready to reveal to the world. I will, just not for a while. And that kind of sucks. Because my honesty is one of my biggest strengths.
I like to put my shit out there for people to see and feel because I know that if I have experienced this so have others.
So while I can’t speak to the specifics of what is going on I can say this…
Life as I know it has been changing. Ways of being of are disintegrating to a pulp. New ways of being of being formed. And the growing pains are hard as hell.
But at the same time I am experiencing certain things that are blowing my mind and cracking me open. This is all good. So why the struggle? Why the pain?
First off, just because something is what we’ve always wanted doesn’t meant it’s easy. Sometimes receiving is the hardest part.
And I’ve been thinking about why this is. And what I came up with is worthiness and conditioning.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that life is supposed to be a certain way. And if we start to meander to pastures not approved by those who conditioned us in the first place, it’s really easy to question whether or not we are worthy.
That is what I have been noticing lately for myself. As I say yes to these new experiences in my life and receive so much from them, my ego is going crazy.
And the funny thing about the ego is that for each of us it can lash out in unique and tricky ways. For me in the aftermath of these new and beautiful life experiences I find myself feeling the ambush of my fears.
Is this making any sense? Without the details? I hope so. Because really, the details don’t matter completely.
What matters is this…
Never think you are finished with any piece of life. Especially when there are things you still want from that piece. You can have them. Even if you think it’s impossible. Even if you think that ship has sailed. The ship can come back.
You are worthy. You deserve to thrive. And what I am realizing about thriving is that we can think we are totally thriving but actually it may be only a sliver of our full thriving potential.
There is always more. If you are brave enough to seek out what you truly want. It’s waiting for you right now.
And I know you may be trying to read between the lines and figure out what the hell I am really talking about but don’t worry, in time I will get even more honest…
If this is really resonating with you then check out my new yoga practice that’s a perfect fit. It’s a practice to connect you to your worthiness and it’s super powerful. Check it out here.